How to end a marriage

Make him tell his mother...and wait for the fall out.

I assumed that after being away for 2 days and his mother helping him at home, he would have told her...I was very mistaken.

How can one person be so very angry?

How can one be so oblivious to their wife's unhappiness and depressed mood.

How to live with said person in the short term...stay calm, ignore all outbursts, find a place that is quiet and mine.

Have moved all his stuff out of my room now and feel free for the first time since I checked myself into the hospital September 2002.

My mind wanders and feels relieved.

The weight drops off and the smoking starts - whatever gets me through.

Creed

Another tense day with S. My mind is just a whirly-gig in a strong wind at the moment. I cannot shut it off or shut it down even a little. Today I decided to publish my creed - I have been formulating it now for about 3 weeks - no wonder I cannot stop thinking. I have decided that it will be static, shifting and moving, growing, forever fitting around me, supporting me, giving me hope and comfort. They did not take me that long to formulate - every time there is an incident with S, I use my statements like a mantra, silently chanting to myself.

• Be true to myself, do not be afraid of making hard and maybe hurtful decisions
• I am a strong person
• I am a well person
• I believe in myself, my abilities, my desires and my future
• I will be happy to be alone until I meet the person who is unconditionally accepting, loving and supportive of me and I of him
• I deserve happiness
• I will continue to grow beautiful daughters, sure of themselves, confident, compassionate and caring

I don't know how I am going to go in real life - the tears are already pouring down my face. When I read my affirmations I feel sadness that my marriage is not want I wanted or thought it would be 14 years ago. My eyes are burning from tiredness and sheer unhappiness. God, please give me strength - I am feeling so vulnerable right now.